The fine art of giving

Giving was something totally new to me. I''d been a taker and user of people for years and years.The fact that I never wanted to give anyting back didn't matter. Or maybe it did but it hurt to really look at what I'd become. I certainly had guilt wich meant I had something of a conscience. When I first started going to meetings, it was suggested to me that I re-fill the sugar and creamer packets and make some coffee before the meeting started. I enjoyed it and it felt good to give something back. I was pretty sick and it took a long time to really enjoy giving. Everyone can do it, just find something you're passionate about and share it with others. We can't keep it unless we give it away. What a concept!!! Anyway, I guess it took about 5 or 6 years for the fog to clear and I actually looked around our small community. It looked like no one loved it. So when the city built three corner planters downtown, I volunteered to plant flowers in them and water them thru the summer months. it was good. Then the city bought some large containers and I again volunteered. By this time I had a group of junior master gardeners who helped plant the planters for several years. We also added hanging baskets to some of the poles and it really looked pretty. I've never know moderation in my life. After 10 years of doing the watering (9 of those years for free) I resigned. I also went through withdrawls and had to laugh because the pride committee has three people doing what I did alone for all those years.
In 2005, I kicked the city out of one of our oldest parks, Ray See Park.( named after a WW I vet and wpa promoter in the 30's) They were destroying it with neglect and I felt I could make an improvement. Wow!! What a blessing that turned out to be. The JMG kids and I adopted the park in March of 2005, the pool broke down in June of 2005. Then the fight was on to keep our beautiful WPA pool. We set about raising money to purchase new playground equipment and to replace the overgrown arborvitae we removed. It was great!!! This passion I found for the project was overwhelming sometimes. I wanted to get eveything done right now. We did wind up raising about $18K for the park and bought some really cool playground equipment, like the Dragon Challenge, Infinity Climb and Tykes of Steel. We planted about 12 trees and it looks good. We've also purchased some Christmas displays and have had good public response especially from the folks who live south of town. The fight to save the pool taught me a lot about myself. I can git 'er done with God's help and lots of hands here on Earth. There were people I thought were my friends who really weren't and don't talk to me to this day. The real friends who didn't agree with me are still my friends because we respect each others right to an opinion without getting angry (trying to control). Passion is contageous. The south end of town looks so much better and some of the other businesses have cleaned up a little. The ditch got cleaned out and you can actually see the bath house and pool from the highway. I still mow the park with the mower I bought just for that purpose and picked up some extra work to pay for the gas used to mow and weedeat the park. I also collect aluminum cans to help with the cost. The blades for my mower are $100 and I go thru about 4 sets every summer. (I love my Bad Boy mower. I suggested to Charlie that we slow down, sell his tractor and my mower and his response was that if we do anything with the mower, it will be to upgrade. LOL) The giving has brought about opportunities to be humbled. The chamber of commerce citizen of the year award was very unexpected and humbling because it is an award from my peers in the community.  My grandmother got to be there and it was great for her to see her oldest granddaughter do good instead of behaving like a jerk. She died a couple of years later and I miss her so very much. I applied to Keep Oklahoma Beautiful for an award in environmental excellance through teaching people about gardening and won. As a result of that, I was given the pride of Tonkawa award. Another one from my peers. The fight for the pool garnered me an award from Preservation Oklahoma Inc. What an honor!!!! All I did was pray, work hard for what I believed in, and stand for something I felt would be positive for the community. What a sweet deal.....all because I don't drink, one day at a time. God is good all the time. Each time I've put out an effort with no thought of compensation, the rewards have been phenomenal. This is what life is about. Not what we can get from life but what it gives us when we live the way God wants us too.
We have a meeting place here in town. It's great to have one so close again. We meet every morning at 630 am so I get there about 545 to make sure things are good to go. Sometimes people show up sometimnes they don't. I've read a lot of the history of AA because people didn't show up so I benefitted anyway. It's service. I am responsible when anyone anywhere needs help.....I want the hand of AA to be there. Who would have thought such a selfish, self centered ball of anger and hate could think of others first. A miracle each and every day.