Do These People Really Deserve a Nanosecond of my Life?

As I've noted in the previous blog, I allow people in my family to live in my head rent free and drive me to distraction. Tonight at meeting, one of the guys said something that Bill W. pointed out and that is if some person, place or thing disturbs me then I am the one with the problem. I have since asked myself why I place so much importance on my mother's opinion of me. Why does it bother me so much that she 'likes' and comments on everything but the things that relate to me. For instance, of the 2 pics of my girls taken at the recent alumni activities, why did she 'like' the one with my girls and one of her friends and not the one of me and my girls? Why did she 'like' the post by one of my friends that says "Some people come into your life as blessings. Others as lessons."  Yes, I took it personal without knowing that she intended it (the 'like') for me. When I sent the email letting her know I wouldn't be able to make it over this weekend, I knew she wouldn't call me today since Sunday is the day for the obligatory phone call. Why does it bother me so much that my oldest daughter, who says forgiveness is highly over-rated, writes about alcoholic females for her comp II class but insists that she didn't mention me and I know that she is lying? Much the same as she was lying when she told me she wasn't having an affair for 2 years with her fiance while she was still married to her husband. Why do I let these sick people upset me so stinking much?  Why is there so much fear and insecurity present in my life where they are concerned? Two people who bad mouth me at every turn and twist the things I say to make me look like the one who is bad and they haven't done anything wrong whatever. They feed off of each other like vultures and I am the carcass. I have allowed these people to get under my skin like chiggers. I haven't even been able to pray for them because I haven't been able to get past wanting to tape their mouths shut and slap them silly. Amber did call a couple of months ago to ask me if I would go to counseling with her. I said yes I would only if she wouldn't rake me over the coals like she did almost 2 years ago. I knew then that she had an agenda and she proved me right when she didn't call me back with an appointment time. It's really sad that I know these 2 people so well and they don't know me at all.  They are predictable and transparent.